Theale & Tilehurst vs Hawley 2 7th August 2004

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Report by Chef

Hussain has nothing on me.  Every week I lose the toss.  Perhaps it's because I keep calling "on it's side"?  Never the less I lost the toss again.  It was a hot day and the pitch looked bad, not a good day to lose the toss.  When the call of "we'll have a bat" came, I almost cried with joy.

Things started off a little quicker than expected with 13 off 4, but then the breakthrough came from Os.  The pitch was behaving very badly and every ball was doing something.  We were able to put on some pressure with close fielders.  A few overs later, Os got another wicket.  It got to about the 14 over (Doc's 7th) when I said "Doc, this will be your last over", he was a little aggrieved when 5 overs later I took him off.  He kept muttering something about hottest day of the year, giving his all for each of his last 5 overs and something about the quality of fielding.

Nayab came on for Os and I was just about to bring on Rags from Doc's end but I smelt something in the air.  It was the smell of fear, and carrots.  There was a distinct hint of bunny.  So like earlier this season, I loaded both barrels and donned the deerstalker.  It's time to get me a wabbit!  I could feel my knee getting better and a quick burst of 3 overs for myself, then I can bring on Rags. 

The ball was doing loads and figures of 6 overs 5 maidens (of which 3 were consecutive wicket maidens) 4 runs (of which two were wides) and 4 wickets suggests it was doing a bit.  It would also suggest the skipper could see some easy wickets for himself and selfishly chose to bowl.  It should have been a 5fer but Doc at silly mid on dropped a dolly.  It appears that he chose the more unconventional method of catching.  He chose the downward claw, like an owl hunting a mouse.  Unfortunately the owl was blind and had no claws and the mouse was speedy Gonzales.  The combination of the two meant the ball struck the ground, shortly followed by Doc, shortly followed by my jaw.  Still, saved me a jug!

The only other points to note, was the return of Ian, which was clearly noticeable in the field, and yet another clang for my golden balls.  Wilkinson, who had clearly decided that the tail was not going to last much longer started to throw the bat.  I'm not sure what possessed me but at 3rd man, on the boundary, I decided to move up 10 metres as I fancied a top edge.  Low and behold that very ball, over it comes.  So I ran like the wind, I then slid, dodging the harpoons that had mistaken me for a whale in mid flight and managed to dig a trench low enough for me to get under the ball.

So we had 53 overs to get 108 on a nasty pitch.  It was going to be a long hard slog, runs would be difficult to find and we needed to take things slowly.  You can imaging my surprise when Eddie got caught and bowled in the second over trying to drive, followed by Rags two balls later trying to....well, answered on a postcard to....

So it appeared our top order wanted to finish this in 12 overs.  Fortunately Rog & Os hung around.  Rog making a well disserved 34.  Then came Spike, who bludgeoned his way to 33 not out with the only 6 of the game.  Osman finished on 24, in possibly the most overs he has ever faced, however it was the sort of batting the game required.  Then Nayab finished it off with a well hit 4 followed by a single to win the game.  We got 27 points, making it even harder for Pinkneys & Ruislip to catch up.  Still, it's a marathon not a sprint. Mmmm marathon!