Theale & Tilehurst 1st XI vs Shinfield 2nd July 2005

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One game, three stories.

After the long discussion on the Berkshire League Message Board we have decided to provide 3 versions of the 1st XI game to suit all tastes.  It will start with Fingers usual fair and impartial report.  This will be followed by Chef's rude, inaccurate and bias report.  It will then be followed by Chef again with the Sportsmanship version..

Fair & Impartial Report by Fingers

This was the biggest game of the season so far, first against second and if we won we would put some serious distance between ourselves and our main contenders. Usual service seemed to be in the offing when Cat won the toss and put Shinfield in to bat and Lemmy got one to bounce a bit and Dear gloved it to Tim at square leg.

However, Shinfield were already scoring fluently through A Gandhi and it was clear that we were far from our best. Gandhi and Akram formed a good partnership for the second wicket and showed that whilst the pitch isn't the best it can be very difficult to keep a check on the scoring with some very short square boundaries.

Jamil was the pick of the T&T bowlers and made the second breakthrough when he bowled Ghandi for 89. The problem was that taking a wicket never seemed to put the brake on that we might have hoped for as each of the new batsman came in and played forcefully. What didn't help was dropped catches which left Shinfield with wickets in hand to push the score up to 246-7.

Having put in what was probably our worst display of the season in the field we would have to bat well to make up for it. Guess what; we didn't. James went to the final ball of the second over and we never put together a partnership of real substance to put any pressure back on to Shinfield.

At 78-7, with Eames being the pick of the Shinfield bowlers, there was no alternative but to try and play for the draw. Chef and Fingers made a good go at it and saw out 12 overs before the partnership ended amid mass confusion and a run out; the ball had gone down to fine leg for a comfortable two but the confusion came when the throw back went more in the direction of deep backward point than the 'keeper. Chef wanted a third, Fingers wasn't keen and as negotiations continued in the middle of the pitch the run out was completed.

With the partnership broken Fingers went in the next over and the final wicket went with Shinfield having six overs to spare.

Shinfield probably put in the best performance we have seen from an opposition this year. We need to get back on winning ways next week and who knows what might be hanging on the final game of the season when we meet again.

Rude, Inaccurate and Bias Report by Chef

Upon arriving at Shinfield it was difficult to see where the allotments finished and the pitch started.  Shinfield then opted to use the heavy roller before the game and amusingly asked their young umpire to sit on the heavy roller to help, it's at times like this you realise how valuable Rags is to our team. 

I had been brought up from the second's to fill the spot of fat grey haired opener, which Doc had left by his absence.  Being a 2nd XI player I wasn't aware that it was tradition for Tim to turn up late.  However he turned up just in time to take a catch in the 4th over.  With Dear dismissed, Ghandi was joined by Akram who looked like an Asian version of a Chuckle Brother.  Ghandi continued to flail around with the ball falling into the gaps, whilst Akram was feeding short square leg with catching practice, but sadly I have hands like my brother.  It seems that Ghandi had the middle of his bat surgically removed and most of his runs were off the edges.  Some poor fielding followed which helped them get further ahead.

Fingers bowled well and frustrated Shinfield into giving their wickets away but it was Jamil who bowled well throughout his spell and some how only picked up one wicket.  Somehow they managed to scrape together 246 runs.

We came out to bat and that's when the cheating really started.  They were bowling at the wickets which quite frankly wasn't in the spirit of the game we were playing.  There was a precesion of wickets throughout the innings.  Tim came to the wicket and with one lusty blow managed to hit a car in the car park.  I had a bit of sympathy for the owner, right up until the point I found out that he was stood in front of his car at the time, in which case if you can't protect your own car, you deserve what you get.  Another lusty blow from Tim and we began to wonder if he was going to pull it out the bag again.  Sadly he didn't and it was left to Chef and Fingers to keep Shinfield from getting 35 points.  I won't describe the run out as the pain is still too recent for me.  The last two wickets fell for 10 runs and Shinfield managed to get the full 35 points.

Shinfield were never the best team on the day, they just had more luck.  We totally out classed them in all aspects of the game but our bad luck and their good luck won it for them and somehow they cheated their way to victory and stole the 35 points which rightfully belonged to us.

Sportsmanship Report by Chef

It was a gloriously sunny day and it was great to be playing at Shinfield and what lovely hosts they turned out to be.  The captains went out to the middle and Shinfield kindly offered us the choice of batting or bowling. Our captain chose to bowl first so that we could give them some batting practice on this lovely summers day.  It was the first over when Lemmy bowled a short ball that went past the batsmans ear, Lemmy was very apologetic but fortunately the batsman was polite enough to accept his apology.  Ghandi was batting very well and we gave him a standing ovation when he reached his 50.  It was a stunning, chanceless innings and we all shook his hand when he was dismissed on 89.  Our fielders were also getting into the spirit of the game by letting the ball go for 4 when the batsman had played a good shot.  We also felt that we wanted to see some more of their batsmen so when the chances game to catch them out, we dropped them so we could carry on watching their incredible shots.  They reached 246 and we were in awe of a great innings.  They had played superbly with wonderful cricketing shots and deserved more than the score they had amassed.

We came out to bat and faced incredible bowling from Eames who deserved more than the 4 wickets he got.  His blistering pace had us on our toes throughout the game.  This was then followed up by Price and Getgood.  They were too good for us and Dopey and Fingers walked before the umpire gave the decision when they we were both caught.  We were eventually bowled out for 119 and oh how we laughed.

It was then when the weekly argument broke out "we'll get the first round", "no we'll get the first round" as both captains argued, the sunset in west.  It was a pleasure to be a part of such a wonderful day.  The real winner was the game of cricket.