Theale & Tilehurst 2nd XI vs Swindon NALGO 2 29th July 2006

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Report by Chef

This report is the view of Chef and does not represent the view of the club.  If you are under-age please do not read this.

What a day to forget.  We turned up at Compton waiting for the gates to open, only to find that you park on the local campus.  We were then escorted to the Ladies Disabled changing rooms.  We walked out to the pitch that looked like it had been freshly ploughed the night before both out and infield.  After many discussions over if we should play, when we should make a decision and if we should get the points if it was unfit for purpose we got under way.  When I learnt to spell at school there was no F in disgrace but having seen the pitch, it was an F in disgrace.

Ramman looked to take it to the bowlers and hit a few good boundaries, then hit Chef for a straight six into a building site.  The next ball Chef got a little more bounce and the same shot was scooped into the air and calmly taken by Khadim.  Lowdry who looked in good was bowled by Mo with a ball that never left the ground.  Griffith then came in and hit a few lusty blows as he did at our place but then gently lobbed one to Micky. 

Trevest was by no means fluent but didn't really give any chances, they all fell into empty places or got just enough bat on it to keep it off the stumps.  Steele-Davis somehow got to 29 with one shot before being convincingly cleaned up by Mo, clearly a guy who talks a much better game than he plays.  Trevest hit one high in the air which Rog caught but with Nehal around there was always a little doubt that a sightscreen might come into play.

Our colt, Chris Collingwood bowled well but with absolutely no luck at all and Mo continued his excellent spells, shame he can only bowl 7 at a time, coz he would have ended up with a hat full.  Three colts came in and Mo took two wickets but the second wicket came in the last ball of his 14th over, which meant he had to come off. Chef then took over from Mo and bowled him.  It was really Mo's wicket and it would have meant a justified five-for for Mo but alas serves him right for being young.

Chris then mopped up and Swindon ended up with 176.

When we came out to bat we lost quick wickets and Khadim suffered the same fate as Lowdry with the ball never leaving the floor.  Micky hung in and produced arguably his best innings yet.  Again is was Hammad who produced the spine in the team with some more flowing strokes.  At one point we looked like we could win but the lack of wickets was just too much.

What happened next was bizarre.  Micky hit the ball to Penfold who juggled it around, fell on the floor and caught the ball just after it bounced.  Micky obviously never moved and the umpire didn't give it.  This then started their skipper off again telling Micky to leave the pitch he was out.  Penfold continued to sheepishly claim the catch however this coming from a person who earlier had one foot either side of the boundary, picked the ball up and threw it in and claimed it was not a four was hard to believe.

When I came out to bat I was greeted by the captain telling me how rubbish my bowling had been and how rubbish I must be with the bat.  Apparently this is not the only abuse he gave out all afternoon.  He was constantly telling Mo how poor his batting was.  Not the sort of behaviour you expect from a captain but then he was a w@nker so I'm not surprised. 

Hammad and Tim managed to stay for the draw, denying Swindon points.

I've not done it before but I refused to shake hands with the captain as frankly I was appalled by his behaviour.  The rest of the team are a good bunch and I enjoyed chatting to them, lets hope their colts don't follow in his sad footsteps.

Our form continues, one good game, one bad.