Theale & Tilehurst Devon Return Tour July 2010

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Holbeton XI - Report by Fingers

For the first time since 2006 we were off to Devon on tour.  For some reason a few of us had decided that it would be a good idea to go for a curry the night before going on tour so I wasn’t quite at my sharpest first thing.  Despite constant requests Wiggy and I refused to recreate our drunken explanation of fractals that had apparently gone on longer than either of us had realised the night before.

From our various starting points we all met up at the Smithaleigh for lunch, issuing of tour t-shirts and the like before making the short trip to the traditional tour opener at Holbeton.  Holbeton had been struggling to raise a side but to their credit had found ten so it was only Harry that was required to play for the opposition.

Sunil and Matt opened the batting and Matt went early to leave Wiggy to take some of his Saturday frustrations out on the Holbeton bowlers as he blasted his way to 70.  Harry dismissed Ed lbw to leave Sunil and Osman at the crease together.  Neither was at their most fluent but they did keep the score moving along nicely and past 200.

Sunil went to a good hundred and then rather than launching in to the bowling launched in to an impression of James Brown as he was reluctantly dragged from the stage ground.  There was then the typical Holbeton issue of how soon do you start clapping off the batsman; the last few yards are a very steep slope so if you start too soon your hands can end up hurting.

The possible highlight in the field during the first innings was Harry’s circus clown audition at the bottom of the hill as he attempted a range of tumbles and pratfalls; perhaps the finest being when he tripped over one of the other fielders. I think that claims the fielder had deliberately knelt down behind Harry were inaccurate though.

Praise should go to Holbeton skipper John Atwill who bowled far better than his figures suggest and kept his team going in the field incredibly well.

Mikey and Bob opened the bowling and were both amongst the wickets, both helped by good catches from Ed, but more incredible things followed.  Rob bowled Harry behind his legs to what has subsequently become known as an “Osborn” and then the destroyer in chief entered the attack.

Regular observers of T&T cricket will have assumed that there was an error in the score card for this game but I can confirm that Hammad did indeed take five wickets with his slow nothings; the three runs he conceded being no balls and a wide.  This could have been a real game changer in the fantasy league (ultimately won by Paul Cooke) but for the fact that Hammad was in everyone’s team.  The incredulous look on the faces of Meady and Raj when they arrived just in time for the end of the game and they were told what had just happened were something to behold.

Edwards hit some lusty blows at the end before Matt took his first wicket for the club to complete the win.

After the game it was back to our old tour venue of the Mildmay Colours Inn for a drink with the opposition.  Matt was presented with the Duckling Cup, Rob the first of his Tap awards and John Atwill a bottle of bubbly as the opposition man of the match.

Thanks again to Holbeton for hosting us and we look forward to seeing them again next year.

Full Scorecard Here

As we approached the ground the weather was mixed with cloudy skies but we knew the weather was hopefully going to brighten up.  But this didn’t put us off starting our very competitive ultimate sportsman with the opening rounds being the wrong handed throw and the standing jump.   Sporty won the wrong handed throw proving that he is right handed but doesn’t know it! Not surprisingly crèche manager won the standing jump.

Back to the game, posh/rich was skipper and was very excited the only thing he feared was the speech after the game; the skipper duly won the toss and elected to bat.    After much discussion about the batting order the Osborn’s opened the batting with noel taking 1 he had to face the quickest bowler of the day and faced him very well but not as well as Scary who played him very well at the other end.   After a couple nice drives by Noel he eventually got bowled by the nippy Vernon and this brought s/peedo to the crease.  After a talk about how he was going to be the entertainer on tour with his batting s/peedo with 7 dot balls and eventually got off the mark.  After a while Scary and s/peedo had seen off the opening bowlers both their innings started to take off with Scary reaching his 50 first and was followed in no time by s/peedo.   By this time Scary had played himself in and started to play in a more aggressive manner and was racing along to his hundred but only to be bowled by Daymond.  This was a very good innings by Scary and his hundred is just around the corner.  Just before this S/peedo was caught playing very well as a tour batsman.  After Scary had been bowled there was a flurry of wickets the most entertaining was Syrup with a first baller putting him on top the duck up only for Posh/Rich getting a duck and putting him back on top.  We ended up with 231/9 and a very competitive score and a damp track.

We opened the bowling with Syrup who bowled with natural inconsistency and removed 1 of the openers, luckily at the other end PK was bowling with very good lines and also removed one of the openers. This brought Kerswill to the crease and was found out to be a very good player putting the bad ball away on a consistent basis and got to his fifty in no time with Vernon applying himself at the other end that the skipper would be very proud.  After a flurry of wickets Meadows came out to bat and teed of at one end and blasted a quick fire 76 but he did not realise the person bowling in Sporty and he bowled a very good line and was by far the best bowler of the day in a tour shock!  The last wicket came with Syrup taking a very good catch at square leg to give the skipper a better record than the club captain as a skipper.

Ginger took home the tap again and Syrup claiming the Duckling cup and was very proud to claim his only batting award of the season!  After all of this we had couple of drinks at the bar and thanked Whitchurch for their participation in the game.

Full Scorecard Here

As always on tour there was much waffling in the bar before and after matches. On the subject of match reports I have always felt I write about what I did in the match in detail and then fill in a few extras. And so I’ll start with my 3 balls which happened at the end of the game and give the result away. Then I’ll work backwards to the start of the match. I’m not sure that this will work but I think it’s worth a try and will be great for lovers of the film Momento.

Last ball (of my innings –not the game) with 5 needed to win and the duckling cup between myself and the other not out batsman Hammad I hoped for something on the leg side which I could chip over the (very) short Farley boundary. The bowler obliged and I managed to condemn Hammad for a second Farley Duckling cup. The previous ball I’d nurdled  for two to keep the strike against the returning opener. When I say opener I mean opening batsman – he was the ninth bowler they’d used! In the previous over I’d hit my first ball for a single to give Hammad one ball which went for four but crucially kept him off strike. Okay that’s my bit out the way so I can return to a more summarised format for the other 21 players contributions.

Alan had sportingly retired to give me my short knock after a well constructed 50. Mikey had a fluent cameo after Alan and James had broken the back of the Farley total with an 81 partnership. James’ second 80 odd partnerships in consecutive games. We’d opened with James and Brian with the latter out first, to their main bowling threat Geoff Ramsey who’d taken 6-15 in our previous defeat three years before.

Then back to tea which I ate with relish and we discussed whether 143 might be enough – in our previous encounters the team batting second had always lost.

Their innings had ended with a crucial wicket for Charlie which enabled PK to be top tour wicket taker ahead of a fuming Hammad who had to settle for top non-turning leg break bowler on tour after his epic performance at Holbeton. Prevously PK had abused his position as captain (good work I say) to take four wickets and had taken Hammad off after only 2 overs (hence his fuming). We’d also invited one of their number to bat again after their last player failed to show. Wickets had been failing regularly with players getting started but unable to build large partnerships. Sunny, Osman and Brian had done the early damage so when PK removed the hard hitting Ramsey it was clear that they’d struggle to build a large total.

They batted first after PK had organised the toss and an 85 overs 44/41 game.  We’d arrived at what can be described as my favourite shaped ground after a trip up from Honiton. Other course it’s my favourite shape due to the short square and long straight boundaries. A template I feel should be followed much more in Berkshire.

Back (or is it forward) to the end of the game. Mikey was the other award winner picking up the tap. There were no fines which amused me as myself and PK had driven to the clubhouse dropping our kit whilst everyone else parked at the bottom of the hill walked up with theirs – I assume this was because the previous match everyone who’d driven up to the clubhouse was fined??

And lastly, when we arrived we found the match reports from our previous two games on their notice board. Hopefully next time we play this’ll be added to it and I’ll be prompted to tell the story of my nine not out at Farley....