Theale & Tilehurst 3rd XI vs Yateley 4th XI

30th July 2011

Flying higher: Third XI takes full flight

It’s a fact, eagles don’t fly in flocks but the Third XI eagles are slightly different and don’t have much choice. They all happen to be joined at the hip and fly under the same banner, under the watch of the President in his official helicopter and share a common pledge of loyalty which binds them all. We live by the creed, the Third XI airman’s creed. Our mission is simply to fly, fight, and win.

Captain Alan won the toss and decided to bat. With the opposition still short of a few players there was enough time for airman Aggz to get nervous, perhaps it was the idea of opening the batting (flying) with me or an opposition bowler (anti-aircraft weapons) he had seen, but either way he was shaking like a leaf or a regimental flag. This didn’t get better as the first few overs were very tight. Aggz was stuck at one end for the most part and didn’t get off the mark straight away. Obviously with flying, despite the modern advances in technology there are still some discomforts during the course of a flight, among these is a common condition known as immobility. Extended periods of immobility can lead to swollen feet, aching joints and muscles and stomach pain if coupled with indigestion. The best remedy to these ailments is simply to keep moving throughout the flight, you should get up and walk around the cabin as regularly and as often as possible. But nowhere is it suggested that you should try to force a single like the one Aggz attempted, when the ball went straight to the square leg fielder, who gathered the ball comfortably, Aggz was three quarters of the way down the pitch. I (quite rightly) turned it down and luckily the bowler was unable to gather the ball and Aggz’ flight was saved from an early landing. This and a good ‘talking to’ from me helped Aggz settle in to what turned out to be a smooth innings.

Unfortunately I was shot out with a bouncer which I failed to keep down and a simple catch was completed to ensure an early break through. Rog and Aggz looked to steady the ship or plane in keeping with the stupid analogy (I’v kept it going thus far so hey why not). Eventually the 50 came up and unfortunately for Rog he too was grounded and back in the hangar after a short outing. John was sent out with instructions to stick to the task at hand which he did do as he managed to hold up an end and allow Aggz to play freely. In amongst that Aggz managed to flick a ball to square leg where Kulkarni attempted to take a diving catch and as he rolled onto his right arm he dislocated his shoulder (although not confirmed till much later, despite me giving my medical prognosis to the disbelieving Andy and other spectators gathered around). The air ambulance was called in and Eddie Ellis also appeared to help take the poor young lad to hospital. That would unfortunately be the end of his day but he is not forgotten. Thank you for the title of this match report and sending Rog on a mad frenzy, I have never seen a man as positively obsessed with a helicopter! This has eventually led him to sending pictures of the helicopter to the forces that be which make such like appear on the website and has asked (told) me to write a full report based on Eddie and the helicopter picture but try as I might I just can’t relate it, I’m sorry but this is as close as I can bring it call it a presidential visit via air ambulance and imagine it had some significance to the game. (No disrespect to the President, I suppose he deserves publicity for his mere presence).

ElPresidente

Aggz got to 50 and looked solid for the most part after his initial discomfort. But he was unable to go on and was forced to land for 51. Alan and Rob Why were left to rebuild the innings which was looking in real danger. Initially it was Rob who was the more attacking of the father son combo. He faced some good bowling from the returning opener Dodds who bowled at good pace and cut the ball back a fair distance. He looked solid when driving the rarely over pitched delivery but he was out eventually caught behind. Andy Shotter then joined Alan who was himself looking to carry the innings to a decent total. He was strong when driving and combined well with Andy in cutting the ball and playing square on the off side. A surprising declaration came when Alan was out after just reaching his first league 50 and playing a true captain’s innings. This left Andy unbeaten on 36, the score on 222 (the airman’s nelson) and me scrambling to put out the teas or should I say cakes mainly which formed a large part of my first tea (thanks to my trusted helpers without whom I could never have managed without).

Second Innings

The second half of the game was dominated by the performance of Air Commodore Jordan Manning who took firm control over directing the course of the Yateley innings. With Wing Commander Naz having the choice of ends Jordan bowled from the end he least prefers in the usual course of events. But this was not going to stop him building on his fine form during the tour. He started brighter than Naz and troubled the batsman with his natural length and a good covering of grass on the wicket. He shot down his first victim who met his demise when Andy held a clean catch at point despite not wearing his wicket keeping gloves, he happens to be just as efficient. He then removed the other opener in very short succession. Naz then had to play catch up and finally found his form and started to look just as threatening. But Jordan would go three up as he bowled the best ball of the day, at good pace and on a perfect length pitching on middle and off swinging away slightly to clip the outside of the bail and leave half of the fielders appealing for a caught behind unaware that the bail was also airborne and flying half way to the boundary. Naz was clearly inspired by Jordan and his fine bowling and produced a tight over which brought him his first wicket when Tim held onto a sharp paced delivery which took a very fine edge and the batsman decided to walk. Jordan then took another wicket in his final over and due to the age limits only standing in his way was denied a 5th wicket to cap off a fine spell which must be up there with is best league figures to date.

Since he bowled and took a few wickets Flight Lieutenant Rags gets a mention. He did what he always does and provided the much needed wickets we have come to expect him to take. He combined well with Tim for his first wicket as Mr Beck (no grand title – strictly reserved for bowlers) held another catch to leave Yateley hanging by a wing and a prayer. The last couple of shots were fired by Rags who created another chance which Jordan held and Naz who finished off the last man with the help of Andy and another catch without the help of any gloves.
25 points in the bag and a continued flight path to glory, can we go higher? (You don’t need to answer that; I will do it for you) I think we can. The big clash with Newbury awaits and from these new heights we hope to rain down a meteor shower over our closest rivals. These reports seem to be getting stupider by the week, but I can’t take the credit this week, I suppose I need to sign out with some sort of airplane name….. let me think now and please don’t forget to post the stupid picture of the plane or helicopter or some sort of aircraft, just for Rog and to make some sort of sence of this report!!

Sincerely Yours

Air Chief Marshall Ahmed

THEALE AND TILEHURST CC SCORECARD
Home Team		T&T 3XI						Away Team		Yateley 4XI
Date of Match		30 July 2011						Played at		Doaii Abbey

		Team							Result	Team
Result		T&T 3XI							beat	Yateley 4XI

1st Innings of		T&T 3XI
	Name	How Out			Who			Bowler		4's	6's	Score
1	A Ahmed	ct						Dodds				11
2	P Ager	ct						Cowdrill				51
3	R Puri	ct						Kulkarni				11
4	J Morris	lbw						McGowan				2
5	A Why	lbw						Cowdrill				50
6	R Why	ct						Dodds				23
7	A Shotter	not out										36
8	M Mason	dnb										0
9	N Caffoor	dnb										0
10	T Beck	dnb										0
11	J Manning	dnb										0
							Byes	14
							Leg Byes	6
							Wides	12
							No Balls	6
									Extras			38

							Wickets		Total			222

Bowling			O	M	R	W
1	Wheeler		12	1	38	0
2	Dodds		12	4	31	2
3	Kulkarni		2	0	12	1
4	Cowdrill		12.3	4	42	2
5	Mcgowan		8	0	56	1
6	Sam Hill		3	0	27	0
7
8

Fall of Wicket
	Score	Outgoing Bat				Stand of
1	15	1				15
2	53	3				38
3	91	2				38
4	95	4				4
5	143	6				48
6	222	5				79
7						0
8						0
9						0
10						0




2nd Innings of		Yateley 4XI
	Name	How Out			Who			Bowler		4's	6's	Score
1	Stuart Hill	Bowled						J Manning				4
2	I Cowdrill	Ct			A Shotter			J Manning				3
3	A Hancock	St			T Beck			M Mason				30
4	D Mcgregor	Bowled						J Manning				4
5	O Dodds	Ct			T Beck			N Caffoor				0
6	A Matthews	Bowled						J Manning				1
7	L Garner	Bowled						N Caffoor				4
8	Sam Hill	Ct			J Manning			M Mason				8
9	H Wheeler	Ct			A Shotter			N Caffoor				14
10	A McGowan	not out										2
11	Kulkarni	Injured										0
							Byes	10
							Leg Byes	3
							Wides	5
							No Balls	7
									Extras			25

							Wickets	10	Total			95

Bowling			O	M	R	W
1	N Caffoor		10.4	1	45	3
2	J Manning		7		24	4
3	M Mason		3		20	2
4
5
6
7
8

Fall of Wicket
	Score	Outgoing Bat				Stand of
1						0
2						0
3						0
4						0
5						0
6						0
7						0
8						0
9						0
10						0